Have you ever felt like trauma completely obliterated your “normal,” yet the world kept spinning anyway? That’s where I found myself in 2020 (unfortunately, most of us have an impactful pandemic story).

When Loss Comes Like a Tsunami

I used to think grief came in waves. Now I know sometimes it comes like a tsunami, sweeping away everything familiar in its path. For me, it started with losing my brother on Easter morning 2020. Eighty-nine days later, my dad passed away – just a week before my brother’s memorial. In the span of two years, I lost five family members: my grandma, grandpa, brother, dad, and uncle.

All of this while navigating first-time motherhood during a global pandemic. If that sounds like a lot, it was. But here’s what I’ve learned about walking through multiple losses while life demands you keep moving forward.

The Reality No One Talks About

Let’s be honest about something: trauma obliterates your normal, but everyone else’s routine moves on. Even with the best support (shoutout to my husband!), daily life continues. Dishes need washing. Emails need answering. Babies need feeding.

I found myself living in what felt like the Matrix – physically present in a world that expected me to function normally while internally feeling numb. I had to compartmentalize just to survive because I didn’t have the luxury of not getting out of bed.

Finding Release in the Raw Moments

My initial coping mechanisms were simple:

1. Running (sometimes twice a day)
2. Working (because that helped me feel ‘normal’)
3. Staying busy (until burnout forced me to stop)

It was during those runs that I had my most honest conversations with God. I remember one day, listening to worship music about Jesus’s blood setting captives free, I actually shouted at God: “But it didn’t! It didn’t save my brother from addiction!”

His response? So gentle, so clear: “It did. It just didn’t look like what you thought it would.”

One sentence from Heaven released years of anger and confusion, helping me see that freedom sometimes looks different on the other side of eternity.

When Surviving Isn’t Enough

About three years into my ‘new’ normal, I hit a wall. I was:

• Emotionally numb
• Physically exhausted
• Mentally unable to function
• Trying to be everything to everyone
• Running on empty

Something had to give. For me, it meant walking away from my corporate career – another loss that felt like grief at the time but actually opened the door to deeper healing.

The Unexpected Path to Healing

Here’s what surprised me most: healing didn’t come through more grief work. It came through joy.

A friend once told me, “I feel like so much of your healing is going to come through joy. The Lord is going to meet you in places of authentic joy with your children and your husband.”

She was right. Healing came in unexpected moments:

• While doing dishes
• During ordinary moments with my kids
• In quiet conversations with God
• Through simple daily pleasures

What I Know Now About Processing Pain

1. Healing looks different for everyone
   • There’s no formula
   • No two journeys look alike
   • Your timeline is your own
     
2. God wastes nothing
   • Every piece of your story matters
   • Pain can have purpose
   • Growth can come from grief
     
3. You don’t have to have it all figured out
   • It’s okay to take it one day at a time
   • Healing isn’t linear
   • Some days are harder than others

Finding Your Way Forward

If you’re walking through loss right now, especially multiple losses that feel overwhelming, I want you to know something: you’re not crazy for feeling like you’re living in two worlds. The pain is real. The numbness is normal. Confusion may be part of the process.

But also know this: healing is possible. Joy can coexist with pain. And while your “normal” may never look the same, you can find a new way forward that honors both your losses and your life.

An Invitation to Hope

My story isn’t just about loss. It’s about discovering that God is good – not in a cliché bumper sticker way, but in the trenches of real life. When I thought I lost myself, He knew exactly where to find me. He put me back together and reintroduced me to myself.

If you’re in the midst of your own tsunami right now, know that you’re not alone. Your story matters. Your pain is valid. And yes, hope is still possible.

With heart and hope, Katie

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